Paper Dolls
by elusive lights
Summary: Because in the end, they're all just human. And she is no exception.


**Hey guys, it's Razzle Berry Queen. This fanfic is Petra-centric, and focuses on her thoughts as she faces the Female Titan. There are no pairings, except maybe Rivetra (if you squint).**

**Disclaimer: Shingeki No Kyojin belongs to Hajime Isayama, as do all characters referenced in this work. I claim no credit.**

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_Dear Father,_

_Today, I was informed that I, along with the rest of the squad, will be taking down the Female Titan. I'm sure that you've already heard this, but I'm just telling you for confirmation. Please don't worry, as Captain Levi is the best and we've taken down other Titans together quite easily. Eren, the new boy whom we're watching over, is improving with using his 3DMG, and I'm confident that we'll be able to defeat her. I know that this letter is quite short, but my candle is burning out and I have to go to sleep early tonight. Can't wait to see you after the expedition! I love you so much._

_Your loving daughter,_

_Petra_

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They were no match for her, she thought wildly, caught up in the desperation of the moment and clawing to get her thoughts together. Her hair whipped into her eyes and she spit out copper strands, tasting fear and death and defeat. The Female Titan was much too strong and much too intelligent for their measly little force. Hell, she was too much for the entire Scouting Legion, so what chance did they think they had against her?

She realized this as she witnessed Gunther hang there silently, suspended helplessly on the ropes of his own 3DMG, his face frozen in a mask of fear and anger, eyes blank and unseeing. She realized this as Erd flew into the mouth of the beast herself, cruelly bitten into two, then spit out as if he had been no more than a mere hindrance.

And she realized this now, as the Titan had turned her cool eyes onto her next target: Petra. As she bore down on her, all Petra could think was: _oh God, I'm going to die_.

Numbly, she heard Auruo's voice screaming at her, begging her to get out the way, please, Petra, move out of the way, we have to regroup, but it felt so faraway. It was almost as if she were in someone else's body: she could see herself, face flush with fright and anguish, unable to move in wake of the Titan. She was coming ever closer, but she was rooted to her spot, immobile, unwilling, or perhaps just unable, to move out of the way.

She heard someone screaming shrilly, but it sounded so distant, as if it were coming from an old, tinny radio set. She wished that person would shut up so that she could think clearly.

With a jolt, she realized that the person was her.

And then she was slammed into a tree, a thousand searing needles of white-hot pain digging into her scalp, her spine, her neck. Everywhere. Oh God, the pain was unbearable. Make it stop, she wanted to scream at whoever was listening, oh God, make the pain go away. She just wanted to rip her skin off, that was the extent of her agony.

Then it had suddenly ceased, turning into a dull ache that ate at her being, and somehow, that was worse.

Dully, she registered the thump of a body a thousand miles away, or perhaps just a few feet nearby, and thought, _That must be Auruo_. Out of the corner of her eye, which was becoming fuzzier with black by the minute, she saw him convulse like a marionette jerking around on the strings of an unexperienced puppeteer, then still immediately. _Well_, she thought sardonically, _that leaves just me_.

She felt nothing at that. She couldn't make herself feel anything except regret, regret that she had done so little for humanity's battle against the Titans. And she had thought that she had been useful.

Petra sensed something wet on her cheeks and wondered what it could have been, for it was not raining. No, the sun was out, and there were no ominous storm clouds. She realized that they were her tears. She almost wanted to laugh. Here she was, so completely beyond broken that she couldn't even wipe her tears away. Where had that laughing girl with the blazing eyes and radiant smile gone? Where was the one who had been so proud when she had been selected for this elite squad, overseen and lead by the esteemed captain himself, humanity's strongest? Where had she gone? How pathetic. How low she had sunk.

And then she cried, for even if she was a soldier, she was still human, and she was frightened of what lay ahead or if there even was an afterlife, and no, she was just too young to die, she was only eighteen and had her entire life ahead of her and she had so much potential, so much to live for, and life was just _so unfair_, and what about her and Levi?

Levi. She saw him standing there, staring impassively at his decimated squad, but she was sure that she saw a flash in his eyes when he looked at her, perhaps sadness or regret or anger or even love, and she wanted so desperately to reach out to him, hold him one last time, but she couldn't move, couldn't even make a single sound except for a ghastly gurgling noise in the back of her crushed throat. He glanced at her one last time, something catching in those cold eyes of his, and he turned on his heel and walked decidedly away from the gruesome scene. She wanted to call after him, beg him to stay with her, but nothing in her body worked anymore. She didn't work anymore.

Petra glanced up at the sky. The sun was hiding behind a gray cloud, horrified by the terrible incident that had occurred underneath it. The heavens were a lurid blooded, as crimson as the thirsty ground below. She thought that if she had to die before her time, she would at least die with something beautiful being the last thing she ever saw. So she rolled her eyes upwards, as far up as they would go, and tried to ignore the fluttering in her chest as her crushed lungs flapped weakly for air, ignored the phantom pains that wracked her shattered spine, ignored the way that her vision danced with red and yellow spots, like a broken kaleidoscope. It was worth it, she thought, it was worth it to die this way, seeing the sky for the last time in her all too short life. So she smiled.

And as Petra Ral lay there, choking in a pool of her own blood and tissue and tears, she died as she lived, alone, with only the ashamed sun and the mournful trees to watch her become no more.

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**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for reading. I know that there were a lot of run-ons in this piece, and I assure you, that was intentional. I wanted to emphasize how desperate Petra was and how muddled her mind was in her dying moments, because nobody thinks straight when they're faced with a Titan. I also wanted her thoughts to be unclear and run together, so that the turmoil that she feels is shown. I don't know, maybe I completely failed in that, and I definitely think it's a bunch of complete crap, but it's twelve o'clock and I'm finished, so here you go. Please leave a review, drop a favorite, I mean anything! I love when you guys show me love. Good night!**


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